Grief goes underground. It’s not something our society allows to stay long in the front yard for all to see. It quickly gets relegated to the shadows of the basement. If you’re grieving the loss of something like a job, a particular picture of your future, a role that has been a big part of your identity, you might not even recognize it as grief. If you’re grieving the death of a loved one, you might find life around you is moving forward and you are feeling left behind. Or maybe you wonder if you are grieving wrong because you don’t feel sad so much as peaceful or liberated or angry or relieved. All of these situations can force grief underground.
Teresa Quadres, LCSW
The problem is, when grief is relegated to the darkness of the basement, it doesn’t go away. It just clatters around down there looking for a way out, chewing through old yearbooks and knocking on the ceiling with a broomstick, making a racket. It festers and gets restless.
I’d like to help you find the courage to unlock the basement and invite grief up for tea. I’d like to sit with you and your grief at your kitchen table and chat. Let’s be curious together about your grief, about what it means for you, where it might take you. Let’s give it some space in the light of day.
You’ll be amazed at how much of a relief it is to tell your story and feel your feelings freely with someone who’s not “in it” with you, who won’t get overwhelmed by your grief, who does not pass judgment, try to “fix” it, or tell you to get over it. You might even find you are ready to plant your grief right there in the front yard to let it bloom in the full-on sunshine, because that is what will ultimately bring you peace.
After over 20 years working as a medical social worker in palliative care and hospice and being with so many people experiencing various layers of loss and grief, I have become very comfortable in that space. I can be fully present with pain, confusion, conflicting emotions. In fact, if you share those things with me, I can hold them for you so you can take a step back, take a deep breath, and see them from a different angle. I can help you start to see the links to your past and visualize the path forward toward a greater sense of peace and wholeness.
I left health care to start a private practice as a grief counselor because I wanted to expand my work beyond the medical setting. I love helping people who are experiencing anticipatory grief because they or someone they love is seriously ill, people who have lost their health to illness or their freedom to caregiving, as well as people who are grieving after the death of a loved one. But I know there is grief in any transition so I also wanted to be able to help people who have lost a dear pet, people who are feeling unmoored or disoriented after a job loss or retirement, people experiencing the loss of a family role in an empty nest or after a divorce or going through menopause or coming out.
And so if you recognize the sound of grief knocking on the ceiling of your basement with a broomstick, whatever kind of loss you are dealing with, I invite you to let me help you find your flashlight and get started making peace with it.
One more important thing I want you to know about me is this: I prefer the pronouns she/her and warmly welcome members of the LGBTQ community to my practice. I welcome people of any race, ethnicity and immigration status. Love is love, family is family and grief is grief.
I’m looking forward to meeting you.
- Licensed Clinical Social Worker LCSW 24359
- Certified Advanced Palliative Hospice Social Worker APHSW-C 27-1471
- Master of Social Work, Portland State University
- Bachelor of Arts in Psychology with a minor in Sociology
- University of California at Santa Cruz
- Community Geriatric Health Care
- Home Health, Hospice and Palliative Care
- Advance Care Planning
- Medical Center Consulting and Education